After what has been about a month hiatus, I’m back! The last month has been eventful and stressful and educational. Wedding reflections will come in a later post- for some reason, it’s still too soon to get into detail. I have trouble watching wedding shows now because I just can’t see things done a certain way after having put my heart and soul and sanity into doing mine differently. But one day I’ll reflect. Today: tips on successfully transplanting yourself to another state. As I mentioned before, my husband recently got a job in Orlando, Florida, and we have since moved here from Charlotte, North Carolina. I’m slowly learning that the house wife position is not for me, but more on that later. But through this process, I’ve learned several things and I’d like to share them here in the hopes that someone will learn through me doing things the difficult way!
First: Avoid Depression. They say that the best thing to do when you’re first married is to get away on your own and build a life together where your family and close friends have no influence over your decisions. Maybe for some people that’s true, but for me, not so much. I love my family and friends and we already did our year abroad away from everyone. I’m grateful that Pasan got a great job and I love our town home, but moving can really suck. For someone like me who survives on being around people, suddenly plunging into a lone-wolf life style can easily become a pity party. I’ve had several self reflective moments where I’ve realized that I literally can control my attitude and I must in order to remain positive. Is it silly that it took me almost 23 years to figure this out? Definitely. Save yourself some time and figure it out now. Tips on meeting people: join a workout class, find a church, find a job (easier said than done!) or just get outside! Try to run into your neighbors and start small conversations, unless you’re the kind of ballsy character who can get away with knocking on doors and introducing yourself. If that’s you, then go for it!
Second: Plan return visits! The positive thing that I’ve noticed about moving to a different state is that when you do come back into town, people work hard to rearrange their schedules to see you. They’re more willing to splurge and be flexible because they know that this time is valuable. We spent Father’s Day weekend in Charlotte, and it was short but very sweet. Small negative issues are put aside because the time that you have together is a privilege and not one second should be wasted. So if you do move, remember to keep your ties because your return visits will be highly anticipated.
Third: Grieve. I know it seems a bit dramatic (according to Farrah from Teen Mom) but it’s necessary to grieve a process like this. Starting a new life means saying goodbye to an old one. Maybe that means just saying goodbye to a house for some, but for me it meant saying goodbye to my family, friends, and Charlotte. Those were all very tough to leave and I’m still figuring out how I feel about it. All I want to do is be on the phone and facebook and email so that I can still be involved in life there, but too much of that and I’ll miss out on life here. There’s a fine line between keeping in touch & not letting go. Some days it seems easy and some days it seems Goliath-sized, but every day I find the balance and learn to be happy in what that day holds.
Fourth, and VERY VERY importantly: BUDGET! I can’t possibly overstate this. Many people know what moving expenses are like, but we are experiencing overwhelming bills coming from three different places! (Our two Charlotte apartments from before we got married and our current Orlando home.) I knew that moving was expensive since it seems like I try to move every year, but I was not expecting this. If I had known that we would be paying for all these bills pretty much all summer, I would never have made some of the purchases that I made. And that doesn’t even mean big things- several $20 shopping trips add up pretty quickly to one of my electric bills. So save save save money as much as you can! Until you are fully in one home, only buy necessities. If there’s one thing that I wish someone had knocked into my head before this whole thing, that would be it.
These are just some lessons that I’ve learned throughout the moving process. What are some of your moving tips?